You know who you are. Your spouse, children, tax advisor, spiritual guide and bartender have all been telling you what you already know deep down: You are dangerously close to going from a man who loves the world’s greatest game to a full-fledged, certifiable GOLF NUT.
If you find yourself nodding and agreeing with too many of the statements below, then stop the denials and begin the process of finding balance in your life. Remember what the theologian Thomas Merton said: “Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” Of course, that was easy for Merton to say given the fact he wasn’t a golfer.
You might be a golf nut, if …
You would prefer to have dinner with John Daly rather than a Super Model.
For the last 18 years, you have sent a Christmas card to Dave Pelz because his 1999 book, Short Game Bible, convinced you to “always carry at least one wedge with a small and shallow-bounce sole.”
You know the USGA Handicap Indexes of your playing partners, but can never remember your spouse’s birthday.
You find the storyline of Tin Cup to be a compelling look at the absurdity and futility of life. In fact, you regularly call it a “transformative film.”
You have a custom-made, temperature-controlled “cellar” that holds your 50 favorite sets of vintage golf clubs.
You only eat green M&M’s when watching the Masters.
Your life coach is your teaching pro.
You only drink Arnold Palmer wines.
All of your friends call you Mr. Golf.
If you see yourself as a Golf Nut, don’t despair! Instead simply take seven-time Major winner Harry Vardon’s advice: “Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.”
For those of you who read last week’s posting, the dreaded MacGregors decisively defeated my Campbell clan 58 to 42 in the 10th anniversary edition of The 1502 competition at The Kansas City Country Club. The series is now tied 5 to 5. The Campbell Clan leadership is now going through a series of debriefing sessions in an attempt to determine what went wrong.
Allan (Handicap Index down to 9.4, 11 handicap from the regular tees)