We know that golf is not a perfect game. Everyone has a pet peeve or two and everyone enjoys voicing his or her concerns. Since I seem to have a little extra time on my hands these days as my home course is being renovated, I thought I would update and share my collection of complaints. As you will see, some of these will make you smile while others are all so true.
“Nice Shot! Know when to shut your mouth on the golf course. Maybe well-intentioned, but nothing productive results when you compliment a playing partner with ‘nice shot’ only to see the ball trickle into a bunker, creek or worse, beyond the out of bounds white stake. If it’s your opponent, restrain your celebration.” -- Freelance golf writer Tom Gorman.
“The rule about Divots -- I hate this rule. ‘Rub of the green,’ what a stupid idea. You hit a ball down the middle (something I don’t do often), and your ball lands in a divot from another golfer. If I were made USGA Rules Chairman, this is the one rule I would change immediately. I know God works in mysterious ways, but even He says we should not have to play out of a divot. -- Steven Gribin, host of The Golfers Home radio show.
“Leave the green as soon as everyone has finished putting. You’ll see this a lot, and after a while it’ll drive you crazy. You’re ready to play your approach shot to the green, and the people in front are crowding round the hole marking their cards.” – Gary McCord, from his book, Golf For Dummies.
“Finding out your partner's 5 handicap should really be 10.” – Anonymous friend (Not long ago, this friend had such an experience.)
“Golfers who take too many practice swings.” – Me.
CHARITY SCRAMBLES: “Last week, I got a text from a friend: ‘Just finished a scramble I play in every year. The lowest score ever shot in 20 years of the tournament is a 55. A foursome of guys wearing cargo shorts just came in with a 46.’ … That’s 26-under! And according to my friend, there were no ‘gimmick holes’ throughout the round to artificially lower their score.” -- Sean Fairholm, Golf Spy.
Walk directly to your golf ball; don't follow other players to theirs unless assisting in a search. – Arnold Palmer, winner of seven Majors.
Here are two from my friend, Charlie Peffer:
· “Four hours is not a guideline -- it is the maximum.”
· “No plumb bobbing (or aim pointing) putts for double bogeys or more.”
“People who don’t know, or ignore, the etiquette of parking carts around greens.” – Golf writer Dave Seanor
We build these courses that are supposedly going to challenge the pros. Well, wait a minute; we build hundreds and hundreds of golf courses in this country that most people can't play. They take too long to play because they’re too difficult. And also, it costs too much for maintenance. And that, in return, sends the dues (and green fees) up and people are dropping out. We're in a lot of trouble right now. – Six-time Major winner Lee Trevino, from a 2012 interview.
Down The Fairway,
Allan Stark
Illustration and photo credits:
Cartoon of putter: Clare Briggs (Public Domain).
Illustrated golf ball divot: Created by Perplexity AI.
Illustration of unhappy man: Den0909 – DepositPhotos.
Lee Trevino – Allan Stark.
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