On The Lighter Side

Now that the summer is coming to an end, it is safe to say that our 2026 games can be categorized in five ways: 1) Have exceeded your expectations. 2) Have been satisfied for the most part. 3) Frustratingly inconsistent. 4) Your bad days aren’t horrific. 5) You have “quit the game for good” at least three times this year.     

However, even if you are in categories Nos. 1 and 2, there are certainly days when you have to remind yourself that Golf Is A Funny Game! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a golfer, regardless of his or her handicap, needs a sense of humor to deal with the vagaries of golf. As HORACE G. HUTCHINSON (1859 to 1932), who is considered to be the Father of Golf Instruction, wrote, “Human nature is so funny, it is a thousand pities that neither Aristotle nor Shakespeare was a golfer. There is no game that strips the soul so naked.”

Below is a collection of quotes, thoughts and memes that I hope will make you smile and remind you that there’s always the next round:

“It is a law of nature that everybody plays a hole badly when playing through.” – Longtime golf columnist of the Times of London Bernard Darwin (1876 to 1961). He was the grandson of Charles Darwin, who wrote the book, The Origin of Species.

“Always keep in mind that if God didn’t want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn’t come three to a sleeve.” – Dan Jenkins (1928 – 2019) wrote for SI and Golf Digest. In addition, he wrote many golf books, including Dead Solid Perfect and The Dogged Victims of Inexorable Fate. 

“The practice ground is an evil place. It’s full of so-called coaches waiting to pounce. You can see them waiting to dish out their mumbo-jumbo. To hell with coaches.” –Ernie Els (b. 1969), winner of four Majors -- U.S. Open 1994 & 1997 and British Open 2002 & 2012.

You shouldn’t start any round of golf without a full complement of golf clichés. Too many people look down on clichés. I don’t know why. Think about it. Have you ever gone an entire round without dipping into the cliché bag? Clichés are popular because the high percentage are so very true. Clichés are effortless one-liners that can range from gentle reminders to yourself or partner to not-so-subtle jabs at your opponent.     

• Don’t try harder, try easier. • The most important shot in is the next one.

• You've got to know where to miss it. • Smart lay-up!

• Never up, never in. You can't win them all -- but you can try.

• Every divot tells a story. • Grip: Light is Right!

• You’ve got to play your own game. • That shot won’t hurt you.

• Thin to win! • You don't have to draw a picture on the scorecard.

• That dog will hunt. • You're on the dance floor -- but a long way from the band.

• Trees are 90% air. • Never follow a bad shot with a stupid one.

• Let the big dog eat. • It’s not the arrow, it’s the Indian.

• Par is always a good score. • The golf gods giveth and taketh away.

A Little Gamesmanship

Boswell and Hoffman had been playing golf together for years. The two were evenly matched until one spring Boswell’s game suddenly improved and he began to beat Hoffman soundly every time they played. Hoffman went to the club pro for instruction, he bought new clubs, he changed his stance, but nothing seemed to help. Then he got an idea.

Hoffman went to his local bookstore and picked out three golf instruction books: Fix It Yourself: How to Recognize the Faults in Your Game -- and Correct Them by David Leadbetter; Hank Haney's Essentials of the Swing: A 7-Point Plan for Building a Better Swing and Shaping Your Shots and 101 Mistakes All Golfers Make (and how to fix them) by Jon Sherman. He had them gift wrapped and had them mailed to Boswell. A week later Boswell’s game had deteriorated to the point that the two were again evenly matched.

Golf is …

• Golf is a lot like life – fun and frustrating, relaxing and disappointing, stimulating and tiring.

• “An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.” – Anonymous.

• “Golf is truly a Goddess, and must be wooed accordingly, with due meekness and humility, but at the same time with boldness and determination.” – J. Douglas Edgar, from his book The Gate to Golf (1920).

• “Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.” – Winnie-the-Pooh author A.A. Milne (1882 to 1956)

• “Golf is perpetual loss and rediscovery.” – Sportswriter Thomas Boswell (born 1953)  

SOLID THINKING

How To Best Prepare For A Golf Tournament: “I have a good dinner in the evening in my room, prefaced by two good, stiff highballs, the first taken in a tub of hot water; the finest relaxing combination I know; and then a few cigarettes and a bit of conversation, and bed at 9 o’clock.” – 13-time Major winner Bobby Jones (1902 to 1971), from his book, Down The Fairway (1927)

And finally, here is today’s tip: You can choose to remember your good shots and forget your bad ones.

Allan Stark

Image Credits:

Golfer and caddy by Cyril Kenneth Bird (1887 to 1965) whose pen name was Fougasse.

Public Domain: Bobby Jones, 1921.