Mothers Are Heaven Sent!

“Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea.” – Australian business consultant Craig Bruce

As I was running through my list of potential Mother’s Day presents a few days ago, I had an idea that makes perfect sense. Instead of celebrating Mother’s Day in May, which is one great month for golfers everywhere, why not celebrate it on the second week of February when at least two thirds of the country is stuck inside and the Super Bowl is over? That is a totally dead time for watching sports and giving up a little indoor, putting-practice time for a Sunday brunch with your family would actually be a fun break from the monotony of winter.

Think about it. This would be a great trade. A total Win-Win for almost all guy golfers. I realize that officially changing the date of Mother’s Day may take time as well as a well-orchestrated PR campaign, so in the meantime, I have been thinking about approaching my wife, Nancy, about making the switch “official” in our household. Nancy would still get her day and all of the accompanying accolades and gifts and I would get an extra day of golf.

As a salesman for most of my life, I learned that you have to ask for the sale. As Super Sales Motivator Zig Ziglar said, “We miss 100 percent of the sales we don’t ask for.” In other words, why not make the approach? Is there ever a downside in bringing up this very well-thought-out idea? 

The answer to my OWN question is: Hell, yes! This is MY DUMBEST idea ever for many reasons:

Reason No. 1: While I think I have a sound argument for the change, this request goes against the time-tested rule: “If it ain't broke, don't fix it.” Also, “Don’t spit into the wind,” comes to mind.

Reason No. 2: Gautama Buddha said, “Love lasts when the relationship comes first.” Those words hit me like a 2-by-4 to the head.

Reason No. 3: I have two wonderful, loving daughters, but I can already see their if-looks-could-kill stares if I even broached the subject at a family dinner.

Reason No. 4: There are longstanding rules between a husband and wife. Rule No. 1 is: Only the wife can change the rules.

Reason No. 5: English writer P.G. Wodehouse said, “A golfer needs a loving wife to whom he can describe the day's play through the long evening.” I doubt if Nancy would listen to my ramblings about missed putts, unruly winds, bad bounces, malevolent rough and overly lucky opponents if I tried to move her BIG DAY from a flowery May Sunday to a dreary February Sunday. 

What I must always remember are these words: A loving wife and devoted mother is truly heaven sent – and if she is married to a golfer, a candidate for sainthood!

It looks like it’s going to be a glorious weekend for toasting mothers and playing a round or two of golf. 

Here’s To Mother’s Day!

The Committee